“Help. I’m frustrated and I don’t know what to say.”

This rarely gets spoken in a young marriage – but it ought to be.

Instead, too often we hear something like, “I no longer feel love for you.” Immediately, the one who heard this gets upset and starts to freak out.

To add insult to injury, this damaging message may show up at around three years or so into a marriage – frequently with a three-year-old child in hand and another on the way.

This story is about two young people who once spent a lot of time talking, listening, playing, lavishing endless hours of attention on one another. Love bloomed; wedding bells rang.

Married, reality crashes in. Careers and children enter. Money gets tighter. There is more work with far less play. Attention once spent upon one another, shrinks. Frustration and discouragement creep in alongside a growing sense of depression. Communication hurts.

A few years pass. This once-happy couple’s communication and marriage skills, such as they were now prove insufficient to maintain or create a new enlivening balance for their young marriage.

The bottom line: successful married life requires a new and expanded set of marriage and communication skills. Good sex may have helped you to the altar; mature adult communication skills will help you make it to your golden wedding anniversary. And with grace and ease.

Life doesn’t stand still and what it takes for you to be successful together, raise children and ride happily into the sunset together – is not taught in schools.

To make it together you will need to know more, much more. Get what you will need to grow together in a relationship that lasts a lifetime.