Currently Browsing:Uncategorized

The magic of “Yes.”

(part one) All too many of us carry around an unexamined, deep-seated doubt about who we are, our self worth and essential value as a human being.  These internal conversations and negative self-assessments color the way we appear and interact with others and our world. With negative self-talk we adopted as children we routinely enter

Read More

“Help. I’m frustrated and I don’t know what to say.”

This rarely gets spoken in a young marriage – but it ought to be. Instead, too often we hear something like, “I no longer feel love for you.” Immediately, the one who heard this gets upset and starts to freak out. To add insult to injury, this damaging message may show up at around three

Read More

The Space of Blessing and Communication.

We’ve read earlier of the power of “Yes, and” as a means of helping us move from reactive “NOs” and BUTs” to calmer, more responsive spaces of “Yes, and…” For example, one can follow a, “Yes, and” in a variety of ways such as, “Yes, and tell me more.” “Yes, and can I share with

Read More

Why “Make allowances” when you can communicate instead?

All too often couples find themselves “Making allowances.” Forgiving inappropriately. It goes something like this: “He or she just did or said something that upset me. I don’t know how to let them know how it made me feel. I love them dearly and I don’t want to get into an argument or a fight,

Read More

“NO” need not be the end of a communication, only the opening of the next.

“NO” need not be the end of a communication, only the opening of the next. True story: He invited her to come out so they could spend time together at a nearby park. What did happen: She said, “NO.” He took it personally and got mad. It turns out that all she needed was a

Read More

The Genesis of Forgiveness, the Rebirth of Trust

How do we rebuild trust when it is gone? We know that words have no value when it comes to reestablishing our partner’s trust. We hear, “Talk is cheap” “Actions speak louder than words,” “I simply don’t believe you.” So, how may we rebuild their faith in us? Can we be forgiven? Towards rebuilding trust,

Read More

“One of the keys to communication is invitation.”

When you wish to share something with your spouse, invite them to talk, first. They might be involved in something else and are unable or unwilling to interrupt what they are doing in the moment. Starting to talk without an invitation may put them in a bind. They don’t wish to disappoint you. They may

Read More

“Communication tune-ups for your business?”

After your business’ mission statement, communication is the lifeblood of your enterprise; management to staff, staff to employees, and everyone to clients and customers. Over time, given the nature of human beings, communication breakdowns are inevitable. Negativity creeps into your workplace, staffers and employees stop talking, stop cooperating and confusion arises. Where teamwork and cooperation

Read More

“A female partner’s point of view.”

One of the concerns I often hear from female clients is something like the following: “I am not sure I know the man I married. Oh, we have all the normal things that go along with a marriage: our home 2 plus children, money in the bank, careers and so forth. And yet, I have

Read More

“Is Silence Golden?”

Men (but not only men) have what we might call a more “Workplace communication style” designed to collaborate, identify and solve problems, to achieve and accomplish goals together. When one man approaches another man in the workplace it must be because he needs something from him. If there is silence in the workplace – that

Read More