When we recognize that anger is a symptom, not a cause.
We can then ask
“What is our anger a symptom of?”
Anger arises when there’s a gap between what you want and what you have.
It is hell living in the gap.
Anger costs you your intelligence, your flexibility, your creativity, your freedom, your job, your family, and your future.
There is no anger to manage when you and I get clear and related to what is so in our life and our circumstances.
I suggest reading the following to yourself and, even better, reading this out loud with another person for support.
What’s so is always just what’s so. What’s so doesn’t care what you think, feel, intend, or wish; it will not bend. You can be freaked out or driven over what’s so, and it won’t change what’s so. If you’re late for an appointment, getting freaked out about it won’t have you arrive any earlier. If you’re having a bad day, being freaked out won’t change what’s so.
That which you seek will not bring you satisfaction – aligning with what’s so will.
When you’re upset, you’re never upset over what’s so. What’s so is just what’s so, and you’re upset.
Werner Erhard wrote the following.
If your house burns down and you get upset, does it bring your house back? What’s so doesn’t care if you’re upset; it’s up to you how you handle what’s so. There is no confusion in what’s so. When you don’t know, you just don’t know – there is no confusion there.
There’s nothing right or wrong about what’s so. What’s so is always open to different interpretations. There’s always just what’s so, and then you have an interpretation.
What scares you isn’t what’s so, it’s your interpretation. The interpretation is never true; what’s so is real, the interpretation is not.
Who you’re being is just who you’re being, and what’s so doesn’t care if you’re happy with it or not, so why should you? When you’re not being with what’s so, that’s also just what’s so. Why should you concern yourself?
Other people should always be the way they’re being; if you think they shouldn’t, that’s your interpretation. Bring yourself back to what’s so about them. Until you can be with what’s so, you can’t be with anything or anyone. You may have control over other people’s what’s so, but none over their interpretation – give it up.
If you take action or not, it’s still just what’s so. If it works out well or not, it’s still just what’s so. You can never make a right or wrong decision or take a right or wrong action.
Whatever you do will always bring you more of what’s so, and then you have an interpretation about it. Whatever you don’t have, so what? Whatever you’ve done or thought in the past, again so what? Whatever happens in the future is not to be feared. It’s just going to be more of what’s so.
The challenge is to spend as much time in what’s so as you can. The chatter in your head is more interpretation, and it has nothing to do with what’s so. There’s nothing wrong with the chatter, it’s just you listening to a fantasy.
The thought that there is something wrong is an illusion; there is nothing wrong, there is only what’s so.
Notice when you’re comparing what’s so to some fantasy of how it should be. Bring yourself back to what’s so, and it will be O.K.
Ask yourself what’s so and align with that. Align with what’s so, and it will not matter. That is the foundation of transformation and satisfaction.
Not aligning with what’s so is the only thing that will ever bring you hardship or suffering. Life in what’s so will bring you harmony, grace, and balance. Werner Erhard
Learn The Skills, Insights And Best Practices To Enjoy A Marriage Built Upon Trust, Mutual Honor, And Respect
Enjoy a marriage that will grow to last a lifetime.
Contact us and let us know what you are looking for. We promise to respond within 24-48 hours.
Make an Appointment
For the quickest response:
1) Contact Paul immediately by dialing 520-297-2085
2) Text Paul at 520-297-2085.
3) Click on the contact button below. Paul will get back to you within 12 hrs.