Avoid “Fuzzy speaking and hearing"

“Fuzzy speaking and hearing,” leaves us feeling disconnected and unhappy.

 

Successful communication requires that we understand how what we say is heard by the one listening to us. Aware of how they will  hear us allows us to choose our words carefully.

 

For example, when I say to my spouse, “I will handle it,” or “I promise to do it,” my spouse is not satisfied.  In the hearing of my spouse, it is as if I have said nothing at all.

 

It is important to understand that in our relationship when one of us is not satisfied, we are not satisfied.

 

My ordinary way of speaking  carries no meaning for her. For her, we are simply not yet done. My promise is way “too fuzzy” for her to set the issue we are speaking of aside and move on.

 

For her and for our mutual satisfaction, my partner needs to hear, at the very least, a “by when” before she is able to file away whatever issue we have been discussing.

 

I have come to know that,  “If is to May Be” as “When is to Will Be.”  Without a “When my promise is an “If” to her.  With a “by when” she feels assured that “this will happen.” Without a “by when,” She feels, “It might happen. Sometime, maybe.”

 

For our mutual satisfaction and partnership, when I say, “I promise to do X.” I add, “and I will accomplish X by next Thursday. I will text you as soon as it is done.” We are now free stop talking about X.

 

Both of us walk away satisfied that X has and will be handled. Peace reigns.

 

I is important  to understand how what we say is heard by the ones we love. and then go on to choose our words carefully.