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What a difference an “E” makes!

What a difference an “E” makes! It seems to me that many of us tend to live lives of obligation, our lives given by“I have to. I need to. I should, I’ve got to. I must.”Everything we do, from the moment we get up in the morning until we go to sleep is because“We have […]

How Do We Evict Persistent Hurtful Memories?

How do we evict persistent hurtful memories? Many of us are plagued by memories of events in our past, from our childhood, and previous relationships. They tend to come up repeatedly. How do we retire and get free from our past?I invite us to consider that our memories are fabricated from a narrative (a story), […]

How Do We Free Ourselves From Our Past?

How do we free ourselves from our past? Memories are made from stories plus emotions. Our memories are held together by the emotions joined with what happened to us.The greater the emotions, the longer the shelf-life of the memory. As we release the emotions binding our memories together, the past loses its influence on our […]

How Do We Disappear Shame And Guilt?

How do we disappear Shame and Guilt? Shame and Guilt go away as soon as we switch the words, we have been using to experience our life and living.For example, we get to exchange Guilt for Accountability and Shame for Responsibility… Responsibility replaces Shame. Accountability replaces Guilt. Together Responsibility and Accountability allow us to take […]

Jealousy And Envy Are Not The Same

Jealousy and envy are not the same Jealousy is fear of losing something that you have, or you believe you have. For example, love and relationships. Envy is a desire, or a yearning for something you don’t have but want for yourself.When you feel anxious or insecure about your connection with another, jealousy is likely […]

Infidelity and Cheating

Infidelity and cheating It is useful to understand that cheating is a symptom, not a cause.The appropriate question then becomes, 1. What is, or are the underlying sources for this symptom, this chosen behavior?2. Is there sufficient love, relatedness, and desire present to even engage with the first question? Couples have begun to restore forgiveness […]

Relationships are a lot like automobiles

What would our lives be like if we took care of our relationships as well as we do our cars? Think about it. You need your car; it provides you with a sense of freedom and mobility. Your car is a valuable extension of yourself and your life. You routinely watch its speedometer, odometer, tire […]

Is Your Relationship on Cruise Control?

Is Your Relationship on Cruise Control? Has this ever happened to you? Driving your car, you discover that not only are you well past your exit; you are a number of miles further down the road! You wonder, “Where am I? How did I get here?” Or, have you ever woken up one morning next […]

Communication Is The Key To Invitation

Communication Is The Key To Invitation One of the keys to communication is invitation. When you wish to share something with your spouse, invite them to talk, first. They might be involved in something else and are unable or unwilling to interrupt what they are doing in the moment. Starting to talk without an invitation […]

Are You Suffering From Mistletoe Avoidance Syndrome?

Are You Suffering From Mistletoe Avoidance Syndrome? Are you beginning to dread the upcoming holiday season? Have you begun to think, “I just do not know how I am going to sit and smile at them for one more year,” or, “Am I going have to have to pretend to get along with her, again?” […]