We can almost always replace a "Got to" with a "Get to" and enjoy an enhanced experience of life. You get to check it out for yourself. Would you rather live by "Have to, Need to, Got to, Should, or...
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I invite you to achieve a powerful mutual appreciation and connection with one another, by reading together, out loud to one another, taking turns. The book is called "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. Then take the...
The secret to well-being has a lot to do with the number and nature of the connections in your life. If you are feeling unhappy, sad, angry, irritated, hurt. Or, feeling discouraged, depressed, or frustrated, These are only...
Our sole access to any influence we may wish to have upon another lies in our capacity to authentically connect. In absence of connection, All I can do is hear you (Everything is blah, blah, blah). Nothing conveys, nor crosses our...
I invite us to stop any attempt at communication that breaks or threatens our connection. Many, if not most of us have a "default app" of, "Hear a problem, fix a problem, and as soon as possible - so we can get back to...
It is worthwhile to read the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman aloud together, taking turns and enjoying rich sidebar conversations together. We can learn that that one of us requires, “Words of Affirmation” and appreciation as their...
Part 1: the dilemma. We have what we might classify as a "Truth app" running well below the threshold of our conscious awareness. Our "Truth app" springs into action when it "hears" us speaking points of view with one...
We unintentionally do harm to ourselves whenever we begin speaking, “I have to... I need to… I should… or I must… I ought to…” and so forth. Listening to ourselves carefully, we may will also hear what we are...
Are we, in our marriages and relationships, living from a ME-ality or from a WE-ality? Were we to take a step back and look at ourselves we might distinguish that there is a continuum between ME-ality on one extreme, and WE-ality on the other. One...
We have what we might classify as a "Truth app" runningwell below the threshold of our conscious awareness Our "Truth app" springs into action when it "hears" us speaking points of view with one another. That is our...
We often confuse, "I'm Sorry" with, "I apologize." At best, "I'm Sorry" communicates regret or sympathy, It's not an apology. • Saying, "I'm sorry it did not turn out the way you wanted"...
Effective communication starts with stop. Stop reacting. Reacting is our friend when we're driving our car. We want to stop before we run in to something. No thinking needed. Just slow down. However, reacting does not work for us when we want to...
Somebody speaking in relationships is when one partner speaks aloud without any "obvious" recipient. I noticed this the other day as I was peering into our refrigerator, saying (announcing?) "We're running out of milk..." Innocently, or was...
When we intend to communicate with our partner, we need a way to respond rather than react. Reacting does not require thinking. Reacting isn’t a bad thing. It works on our behalf as we drive our car. Before we think about it, we want to slow down...
Is your marriage a WE-lationship? A WE-ality, or a ME-ality? WE-ality: Living from the outside>in. One's focus is "out there," Towards one's environment Engaged with one's surroundings. One's Inquiry: Is into the status,...
Recently, my spouse said the following, “You know that sometimes when we speak, I feel like I am being ordered around.” I responded, “I don’t think I am intentionally ordering you around.” Her reply, “Yes, and sometimes when you...
Our brains tend to have us spit out statements that on the surface seem to be “The Truth” when those statements are almost certainly interpretations, influenced by emotion, and more often than we would like to admit, based on limited, often...
I propose a simple (but not necessarily easy) way of thinking and acting in relationships. It seems to me that it would be transformational to every human relationship if we were we to stop, pause and reflect upon what we are saying or are about...
Apologies transform relationships in a way an, “I’m sorry” cannot. Listening to “I’m sorry” we would be more authentic to say, “I regret,” or “It’s too bad that…” For example, “I’m sorry. I am sorry you feel that way....
It seems to me that we have a childhood legacy from being compelled, forced to say "we're sorry" in order to survive, to defuse, distract the large being confronting us in anger. It's the best we could do at the age we were then. And it worked...
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