Our brains tend to have us spit out statements that on the surface seem to be “The Truth” when those
statements are almost certainly interpretations, influenced by emotion, and more often than we would
like to admit, based on limited, often inaccurate information.
For example, “You always…, I never…, We are always…, They never…, Teenagers are always …,
Politicians are…, The country is…,” and so forth. When we take a closer look there is usually some form
of” always” or “never” leaving us with what we might call “Is-ing” statements that only appear to be
Speaking “Truths” to one another invites our listeners to respond with “Truths” of their own that may
leave us vulnerable to confrontations of whose “Truths” are truer.
When this occurs, we have too much “Truth” in the room. Conviction takes up all the airspace.
Certainty leaving too little room for authentic communication.
No one gets listened to, frustration grows, feelings are hurt, and relationships are spoiled, or worse.
We will need a way to speak with one another that allows us to “clear the air,” a way that preserves or
even grows connection with one another. We will need a way of speaking with one another that
bypasses our brain’s predisposition to speak interpretations as if they were “The Truth.”
One of the ways out of our dilemma is to get as far away as possible from speaking Truths that incite
arguments. We need to adopt and install “Seem-ing language” in place of our common “Is-ing
We can let some of the air out of our room by replacing, “You always…, I never…, We always…” with,
“It seems to me that we.... I seem to…, They seem to…” And so forth.
To get away from too much truth in the room will require us getting as far away as we can from Truths
that incite arguments and confrontations.
Or so it seems….