Something remarkable showed up in one of our couples communication coaching session the other day.
One of the couple I was supporting at Marriage and Communication coaching was able to distinguish the following, speaking to her spouse, saying, "Often you provide a workable solution to some issue are discussing, but that is not the end for me. I'm not done. I've also noticed that once I've had The chance to express and process my feelings, out loud and in your listening, by the time I'm finished processing - there is often no problem left to solve!"
We all looked at each other wide-eyed, surprised.
In that moment we all got it.
Listen first, adding no suggestions nor solutions, solve later - and only if there's a need to.
We love each other with our listening.